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Posts Tagged ‘dwelling’

Ani Difranco has a song called “Circle of Light,” and my favorite passage goes like this:

“when you look in the mirror
do you see visions of your past
I ain’t got time for halfway
I ain’t got time for halfassed
when I look in the mirror
I see my days to come
and my face is just a trace
of where I’m coming from…”

To me it means that it’s not worth it to dwell on your past too much. It also encourages me to keep going, the past happened, but it’s over and it’s time for the next thing now.

The reason I bring this up is that a lot of people (myself included) dwell on the wrongs committed against them throughout their lives, particularly the way they were treated by other kids in school. I was no exception, I was diminutive, shy, and bookish as a kid, and I got teased like crazy. Sometimes I would still crave retribution, like leaving a flaming bag of dog poop on their front porch or something. But really, what good would that do? I think everyone wants a little revenge for the wrongs committed against them, big or small. But in the end, we have to own our own actions and let other people deal with theirs. What goes around comes around, and you can’t force Karma. Holding a grudge against other people only harms one person: yourself. My therapist awesomely pointed out the very obvious (yet sometimes hard for most people to see) fact that it is not my fault that I was teased as a kid. Those kids chose their behavior and I can choose mine. Those kids are adults now and they either learned from their mistakes or they didn’t – that’s out of my control. All I can do is keep on keepin’ on…I think we should all do this, we should all let the past be the past and quit reliving it. It only serves to harm you if you continue to dwell. And as far as revenge, it’s always better to take the high road. The best revenge ever, in my opinion, is to cultivate a positive existence for yourself and be content in your own life, and to hell with those losers who made fun of you or keyed your car or whatever.

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