Hello, everyone, my name is Amy. I created this blog out of a desire to both share my progress with my weight loss and fitness goals, and to rant and rave about things that piss me off in general. I have a personal blog on Livejournal that I’ve been keeping since 2003, which is more intended for those close to me to read about my life. This is more of a public blog. I will be sharing things about my personal life, of course, but I’ll be a little more guarded than I would be on my Livejournal. Furthermore, this blog will be primarily focused on fatness and the getting rid of said fatness, and also issues surrounding the problem of obesity. Since obesity has touched my life, I feel like it has a place in my life and thusly I feel I need a place to share my thoughts about it.
My history with my weight problem:
I started gaining weight when I first started puberty as a pre-teen…11 or 12 I think…at first it was very little…a little chubbiness on my face and a spare tire around my belly…although I did have to start wearing the “pretty plus” sizes in the JC Penney kids’ section, which I was mortified about. My appetite as a small child was normal, but somewhere along the line I started to not just eat food when I was hungry, but started eating when I was bored, stressed, or sad, as well as eating when I was happy or celebrating something. It got worse each year, but I never solved the problem. I even used some of my own money from my first part-time job to buy an overpriced and half-baked weight-loss “program” called Herbalife, which of course failed because it was unrealistic to adhere to and expensive…a series of shakes and pills with very little real food allowed, and it would have ended up costing over $100.00 per month. Other than that, I never made any real efforts to lose weight. I was clueless about it, really, and the adults in my life never offered me any solutions, either. My binge eating got very pathological as I would escape from my less-than-ideal life situation by retreating to my room to be alone and watch movies while stuffing my face. Back then it took me little effort to put away what I guess to be over 3500 calories a day, when really I should be eating no more than maybe 1900 to 2000 per day.
I graduated high school in 2001 at my highest weight ever, which is 210. That may not sound like a lot to some, but I am only 5 feet tall. So imagine the kind of body you think of on someone who weighs 300 lbs, that’s what I looked like.
In 2002 – 2003 I lost around 50 lbs., getting me into the 160’s. I started out healthy, but as soon as my weight-loss motivations became almost purely for vanity, I began abusing stimulant drugs with a friend of mine. When I look back at pictures of myself then, I look very unhealthy and my skin has a sallow appearance. From late 2003 to late 2005 I was engaged to my ex, and really let myself go. I went right back into my old habits. After we broke up in 2005 I had an even harder time dealing with life and continued to turn to food. I went back to my post-high-school habits of putting away almost a whole pizza in one sitting, and other large quantities of food. I got up to 203, which is 7 lbs. shy of my highest weight, but still nothing to be proud of. It took me until 2007, when I had a severely painful and debilitating back injury, to finally wake up and decide to do this right for a change. It’s been slow-going for me because I still grapple with my food issues all the time, but I think I’m finally “getting it.” I’ve managed to lose most of the weight thus far, which around 30-ish lbs. to go until my goal weight. I plan on sticking to a program indefinitely in order to keep the weight off for life. I’m just that impulsive that I need some way to really keep track of myself and my habits.
What to expect from this blog/disclaimers:
Two words: radical honesty. I do not beat around the bush, nor am I politically correct. I do curse sometimes, but I don’t mean it to offend people. I believe people can choose not to get offended if they dissect things logically. I am unapologetic about my opinions.
I am anti-fat. That’s right, a fattie that’s anti-fat! Some people in the Fat Acceptance blogosphere would call me Fattist. Perhaps I am, but I feel that having been fat for a third of my life has earned me the right to say whatever the hell I want about it.
I am not anti-fat PERSON, mind you. I may say things that imply that I am, but rest assured I am not. If someone really enjoys being fat and wants to stay fat, that is their right. My only stipulation is that one in that position not ask for special treatment or to be treated as a victim. I hate no one, but I do get irritated and disagree with what people say.
If you get offended by my blog, you can go find something else online to read. There are millions upon millions of blogs out there, and I’m sure you’ll be able to find one that fits your worldview and won’t offend you one little iota. I suggest you go there. There is this thing called freedom of speech, and while I still have that right I plan on using it, even if it doesn’t fit with what you believe. I will not censor people on my blog unless they’re doing things that violate the WordPress terms of service. But if you want to flame me and call me superficial for my opinions, then I will not delete those comments. It doesn’t mean I won’t rip you a new one in return (if I even FEEL like dignifying it with a response), so be prepared!
I have been fat, am still fat, and therefore I feel like I have a right to say what I please about it. I also have significantly less sympathy for fat people who choose to live a lifestyle that cultivates fatness, yet still complain about it. It’s not easy to lose weight the correct and moderate way, so I do not feel sorry for a person who says they’ve “tried everything and still can’t lose weight.” Piffle! Usually those people have tried crash diets or they’ve tried healthy living for 3 weeks and then give up once they realize it’ll take awhile.
The Fat Acceptance blogs like to claim that diets don’t work. Diets CAN and DO work, if you stick with them. But there is a HUGE difference between a diet that simply consists of a person making a lifestyle change and eating all whole foods in controlled portions while exercising, and a fad diet. Fad diets usually consist of eliminating one or more food groups and making silly food combinations. Or they are the “replace 2 of your meals with this liquid.” Of COURSE that doesn’t work, because it goes against our basic biology! Also, I do not believe that garbage about “natural set points” or being hugely obese because of “genetics” is true. To me, it’s a bunch of hooey! And that’s that. If you don’t like it, well, re-read the last few paragraphs until you have it through your skull.
And if you DO like it, then I appreciate any input you have as well. I welcome all kinds of people to read and discuss my blog. Health and fitness people, I especially value any input you may give because I’m still learning myself.
I will be posting my favorite recipes from time to time as well, and snippets of articles I find interesting, etc.
I love your site. Keep it up !